Managing Motherhood

The word “manageable” has been popping into my mind a lot lately as I’ve been doing my day to day tasks such as laundry, cleaning, and keeping tiny humans alive. We've been embracing minimalism now for quite some time and what I have learned from a year of this minimalist-ish life is that it's not about minimizing at all...what I discovered is that it is about what is manageable. Therefore, I now deem #manageableism a thing (though I think the word will go over like a fart in church, you get the point ;)

 

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Because I’ve strived to minimize my stuff and let go of faulty expectations for myself and my family, this life that I had such a hard time making room for has felt pretty darn manageable this past year. I have less clothes which in turn creates less choice in the mornings. We have less toys which led to less dumping and clean up and more focused play. We have let go of all the things we don't love to make room for a life here at home that brings us joy, and on the mental and emotional side of things, we have learned to tune out the noise of the other *mostly* well intentioned advice we hear and do what works for us as a family. 

When I stepped back to really watch myself think and react to a lot of stimulus’ around here I was noticing a lot of needless worry and anxiety. Shocker, I know...

I have to tell you that it’s a total gut check moment to realize that a lot of the shit that feeds your “crap storm” is self-imposed. Personalities like mine don’t often like to hear that we are the problem. It’s usually someone else or something else getting in our way. I used to default to a victim mentality, and it has truly been a huge road block for self-growth and acceptance. It was taking a magnifying glass to my problems rather than a broom that has been the most life changing. 

Realizing that simple fixes like less clothes, less toys, and less clutter has had a direct impact on my daily mood. I can literally do my entire week’s laundry (of my own clothes) in one load. I can fold it all in one basket and I can fit every last piece in its own designated place in my closet. It’s mindless, and I love it.

Now before this starts to sound like an acceptance speech for the “Best New Mom” award, I’ll stop right here and say that I am now and ALWAYS will be a work in progress. Mike and Alicia Hernan said something great on a podcast once and that was that “We’ve never truly arrived in parenting (or in much else for that matter).”  So, I can sit around nervous and sweaty, worrying about an impending shit storm, OR, I can choose to celebrate what is GOOD and what is MANAGEABLE right here and right now.

So many people tell us that it's not worth living in what was or what's to come. I feel like I've really honed in to the present this past year and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I have had more good days than bad and that's vastly different from the story I told of 2016.
 
I haven’t crossed a finish line like I said, but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel by witnessing what my kids are capable of at each new age and milestone. I see and visit with more “veteran moms” and instead of jealousy I’m filled with hope and reassurance. I’m simply in a better place, and it is because I was able to change my thinking....it was because I was able to stay present...it was because I realized that I was the biggest problem in my life...it was because I simplified my life...It was because I decided to let go of advice and opinions...and it was and is because I decided to focus on what is manageable for me in my life as a unique human being in every single moment I am in. 

So, as the new year approaches, commit to simplifying your life so that it becomes more manageable. Don't let others set expectations for a life they aren't living. Sit proudly in your own damn story...in your life knowing that you alone know all the previous chapters that led you to this moment in your book. Go live your best life. Surround yourself with things that bring you joy. Surround yourself with people who bring you joy, and in the new year just make a resolution to keep things manageable. It is so worthwhile. 

Together we can make "managableism" happen. I hear it's so fetch.