Maria's Story: Coping With PPD
In the weeks following my "baby blues," my doctor helped me to realize that I was suffering from postpartum depression. She prescribed me Zoloft which I began taking...and it seemed to help a little, but I still found myself hitting a wall. We thought a dosage change would help, but when that didn't prove to pull me out, I was left lost.
I was still unhappy, closed off, distant, angry, sad, and depressed. I couldn't sleep. I told my doctor what was going on and she sugeested a medication change. She called something in for me, but I never went to pick it up. I had fought depression before, years ago, and I was convinced that I could do it again.
I absolutely knew it was a risk, but this time around I knew to ask for help if it got worse. I know that things like medication and dosage changes go a very long (and sometimes necessary) way for many who have suffered in these shoes of postpartum depression, but for me, my "answer" was crafting. I bought scrapbooking supplies from a friend, started planning again, bought a happy planner, joined planner addicts online and followed some more on Instagram. In my planner, I'd only put in positive points of the day, affirmations, and what I did for myself that day in hopes of rewiring my brain. I'm the author of my own story and I took the reins on a rewrite. I started my instagram account (@feistypositivity) to help me post and be real and raw about my experience. I would do this once the girls were asleep and little by little... I began to feel better.
It is a journey that I take day by day. Postpartum depression is scary. I don't bash medication at all because I know how helpful it can be to some. I just didn't like what it did for me and my body. It's no fun having no control over my emotions but channeling my focus towards arts and crafts as well as counseling really helped me. Counseling helped me to truly validate my feelings. (I highly recommend it for everyone.) My account was my way to channel and share this experience and hopefully help someone out there going through something similar.
We shouldn't feel like we have to suffer in silence. We CAN attribute postpartum depression to science. It happens. You go through an incredible experience mentally, physically, and emotionally. Postpartum depression (any perinatal mood disorder) shouldn't be anything to be ashamed about. I am not ashamed, and no one should feel that way. One day at a time ladies. We can do this!