Kym's Story: Finding My Identity As A SAHM
These are the words I had worked 60+ hour workweeks to hear, for over 4 years. I wanted nothing more than to have the job title, pay check, and most importantly, corner office at an organization that was nationally recognized. I will never forget the sense of pride and accomplishment I felt when I received that call telling me the job was mine.
Fast-forward 2 years later, 2 moves, 3 houses, 1 baby...and no job.
Yep, you read that right. I gave up my dream job...but before I get too far, lets backtrack to just one week after I received that amazing job offer.
If you haven’t guessed it by now, we are a military family (Oorah!). My husband had been serving in a reserve unit for the past 7 years, we both had great jobs, and life was good – until the idea of going full-time active duty came about. We knew going from reserve to active would be a long shot, and even more, trying to become an Officer in the Marines. We had already been through months of separation and deployments, but nothing could prepare us for what was to come. With about a 5% chance that he would actually be selected to go to OCS (Officer Candidate School), we decided it was worth a shot. Lo and behold, he was selected. Imagine our surprise! The next few weeks were a complete whirlwind. My husband quit his job, I resigned from my position, turned down my dream job, listed our home for rent, and my husband left for training.
I will never forget the moment my husband told me he was selected to attend OCS. In that moment I wasn’t thinking about the huge accomplishment he had just made. No, I was thinking about the dream job I had just been offered. I thought about a million different ways it could all work; where we could both achieve our dreams. But in the end, it just wasn’t feasible for us to live 14 hours away, and still maintain a happy and healthy marriage. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you have to do something you really don’t want to do? That is STILL the feeling I get when I think about that job I had to turn down.
Fast forward another year, and I now spend my days in a completely different way. I no longer recruit employees, protect an organization, or attend corporate meetings. My days are now spent changing diapers, reading the same book 5 times in a row, and trying to keep my child from eating the dog food.
Honest mom moment-there are still newborn clothes that I haven't scrubbed, and my son is almost 11 months old. #noshame
There are months where I am a solo parent, my son has fed his dinner to the dog, and bath time looks like I sat front-row at a wet t-shirt contest. BUT, at the end of each day, I look down to my son sleeping in my arms and my heart just explodes with love. And I think to myself...THIS. This is what I am supposed to be doing. Not worrying about climbing the corporate ladder. Not working 60+ hour weeks just to do it again the next week. And definitely not putting my family last like I did for far too long. The little babe sleeping in my arms needs me, learns from me, and loves me unconditionally. And at the end of each day, I sneak into my son’s room to get one last goodnight kiss, and it is in that moment that I realize that I need him just as much as he me.
Oh, motherhood. You get me every.single.time.